Cry baby

So...My sweet little Finn has gotten to the ripe old age of six months.  We've decided to try the "crying it out" method.  I know Ferber says the idea of this is not to make babies cry but to keep them from crying, or something to that effect.  Yeah right is what I say.  He's been crying for a half hour now.  Josh has been checking him every five minutes or so and patting him like you are supposed to, but when all the boy wants you to do is pick him up, that is the ONLY thing that is going to make him calm down.  I get so stressed when one of the boys is crying like that.

We tried it with Max too at about nine months old.  He had been sleeping with us until then.  It was torture with him because he could actually stand up, so we kept having to lay him down and leave again and again.  I was in the room next door crying while he was crying.  We gave up after about two or three days with him because we couldn't stand it.  At about 15 months, we put a mattress on the floor and started laying down with him and then sneaking out after he fell asleep.  At about 26 months, Josh used the Super Nanny's trick and worked his way out of the room over a week's time, each night sitting a little farther away.  It worked fabulously!

****Josh has gotten Finn and is now standing and rocking with him.  Finn is already asleep.

Leo was a different animal.  He stayed pretty scheduled with eating, and I would just nurse him at night while Josh was reading and praying with Max.  I could just lay him down after he fell asleep, and he would actually stay asleep in his crib!  He would wake up to eat once or twice for awhile, but he amazingly started sleeping through the night.  His struggles didn't start until 20 months when we moved to St. Louis.  We had started laying with him in a big bed a few months before we moved.  Once we got here, he started fighting us.  It would take an hour sometimes before he would fall asleep.  Josh and I started fighting over who would do bedtime because neither of us wanted to lay there that long.  He had studying he needed to do, and I always ended up falling asleep when I needed to be doing laundry or something.  We eventually started having he and Max sleep in the same bed, and we would lay with them after we read and prayed with them, and he did a little better.  When we moved into our new apartment, we got them bunk beds.  At this stage, Josh was working every night.  I was eight months pregnant with Finn then, so I didn't have the energy or the patience to wait for Josh to come home to debate about who would do bedtime, so I just told them I couldn't lay down with them both since they were in separate beds.  We just roll our desk chair in and do the routine, and then we're out.  They call out occasionally and get in bed with us occasionally, but all in all it's alright.  

I was just telling Josh that I feel guilty whichever way we do it.  If we put them down to cry, then my heart breaks because I know they feel abandoned.  If they sleep with us, then I worry about SIDS because all the docs say that's a threat.  I've come to the conclusion tonight, though, that I refuse to feel guilty about letting my baby sleep with us.  We both love cuddling with him, I can nurse without really having to wake up, and he doesn't have to feel abandoned.  

When Finn is bigger, we'll move him to a big bed like his brothers and lay down with him if we have to.  As for now, I'm going to nurse my little guy and enjoy his squishy little body.  I'll get to sleep through the night someday.