Teaching

So...

In high school, I often wondered if I should be a teacher, and then I'd remember that would mean being with other people's kids all day.  Don't get me wrong, some people have great kids, but I'm just not up for that.  It's hard enough to stand my own kids some days, and I love them.  They are the fruit of my womb for goodness sake!

All that said, I never in my life (before children) planned on homeschooling.  Guess what I'm doing now.  "Why?" you ask.  Let me enlighten you.  At one point in our marriage, Josh and I were planning on moving to California.  That was the initial pick for school when Josh first started thinking about a Master's.  Obviously, we have chosen a different part of the country.  St. Louis, Missouri is not anywhere near California.  I digress.  When we were thinking of moving there, we were overcome by the appalling situation of the public school system there.  Well, I should say, Josh was; he is the researcher.  After much discussion, we decided it would probably be our best bet to homeschool because we were afraid to put them into public school, and there was no way we'd have the money to do private school.

I just have to say now, "What the crap was I thinking?!?!"  No really, I don't feel that way (every day).  Max is so complex.  I get so aggravated with him sometimes because he just can't turn his brain off to all of the plots he's got going in there to realize that he's supposed to be reading the sentence I've been pointing to for a whole minute.  However, after I remind myself that he's not even quite six yet, I get over it for awhile.  He's reading waaaaay more than I was at that age, and if I do say so myself, I'm a pretty good reader.  I could go on about the aggravation, but that's not why I started this post.

Today was probably the BEST day of school we've ever had.  It was like all of the sudden his focus button turned on.  We finished reading in 15 minutes, whereas it usually takes us almost an hour.  It was great!  I felt rejuvenated today because he actually enjoyed it.  I've been slightly worried lately about school this fall because I'm going to start working with Leo, too.  The worry has not been because it will be hard with two kids or that Leo is trouble, but I've been concerned that Max will be so distracted by him that he won't accomplish anything.  I think the lesson for me is that I need to get over myself and not worry if Max isn't as far along as some kids or trying to make sure he lives up to that genius idea Josh and I have of all our boys.  One of the things I wanted to accomplish with homeschool was that the boys would love learning, unlike me who hated school, and that's not what is happening currently.  Today gave me a glimmer of hope, though.

If you're reading, pray for me to be patient and let the boys learn the way they learn, not how I learn.